Apparently, word has it that upcoming Pink Panther 2 is expected to flop big time, and I’m not the least surprised. Of course, seeing as I’ve never appreciated Steve Martin or his characters, I may just be biased, but really… As inspector Clouseau – a character so [...]]]>

Apparently, word has it that upcoming Pink Panther 2 is expected to flop big time, and I’m not the least surprised. Of course, seeing as I’ve never appreciated Steve Martin or his characters, I may just be biased, but really… As inspector Clouseau – a character so closely tied in with the late acting phenomenon Peter Sellers that any attempts at making sequels are futile?

While Sellers appears the only actor suitable for the Closeau part, I’m afraid the entire Pink Panther concept is long since exhausted, but he had his moments. Especially in my favourite, genius director Stanley Kubrick’s Doctor Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb:

Peter Sellers portraying Doctor Strangelove.

On second thought I might as well offer a clip:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RnuCC529zg

But of course, he did wonders in The Party (1968) and Being There (1979), too. Enough of Sellers.

Although the Pink Panther 2 is directed by countryman (which serves as no indication of an affinity for westry & countern) Harald Zwart, there’s no way I can vouch for the outcome. His nationality won’t embarrass me, though. Every country has its mediocre filmmakers. Zwart should count himself among ours, in spite of a number of semi-successes. Enough of him, too.

Here’s the first trailer release:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2clrUKZTJs

Appalling, no?

Of course, this is old news to most of you, but recent discussions reminded me of a film project still in the making: The Iron Sky, made by Finnish director Timo Vuorensola. The original title, by the way, is Rautataivas. However scary, [...]]]>

Of course, this is old news to most of you, but recent discussions reminded me of a film project still in the making: The Iron Sky, made by Finnish director Timo Vuorensola. The original title, by the way, is Rautataivas. However scary, yet fascinating, the plot itself is very simple, really. And, as usual, I turn to Wikipedia for support:

As World War II comes to an end in 1945, Hans Kammler and other German scientists make a breakthrough in anti-gravity research. Nazi spaceships are sent to the “dark side” of the Moon to found the military base Schwarze Sonne (Black Sun). Their plan is to build a powerful fleet and return to conquer Earth. The film is set in the year 2018 when their descendants finally return.

So far all is well, but what really trigged me, was the obvious need to defend Finland’s siding with Nazi Germany during WW2 (see comments), and, once I remembered Vuorensola’s film project, I simply couldn’t help but thinking if maybe there’s still a fascination for the olden days’ ally in Finland, after all. Of course, I couldn’t say for sure, but the thought struck me as interesting.

Be that as it may. It’s movie time:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KEueJnsu80

Then again, the Americans grabbed Werner von Braun right in front of their noses, didn’t they. Flew them to the moon, too, like a Frank Sinatra. Oh, the irony…

Dear Finnish friends: I truly hope you won’t take offence. I simply cannot help myself, sometimes.

Having parented for the better of my adult life (so far for 20 years), there’s no getting around it: You get to see a lot of kiddy movies, and, sadly, all the fewer grown-up films (not to be confused with the adult kind, mind you). Thank heaven for DVDs! Anyway, last weekend my five-year [...]]]>

Having parented for the better of my adult life (so far for 20 years), there’s no getting around it: You get to see a lot of kiddy movies, and, sadly, all the fewer grown-up films (not to be confused with the adult kind, mind you). Thank heaven for DVDs! Anyway, last weekend my five-year old daughter and I went to see WALL-E, which she’s been wanting to see for some time, and I have to say it was a treat for an old computer graphics artist, such as myself.

I’ve always been a fan of the guys over at Pixar, ever since I came across their first animatic experiments back in the late eighties, at which time I used to work in just that industry, and they never ceased to amaze me. As for WALL-E (an abbreviation for Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class, by the way), I have to admit that I’m awe-struck by the real-life renderings the Pixar team has achieved this time. The light! The vivid colours and life-like shadings. The reflections and the highly realistic tint of things… I simply do not know where to begin.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC86heBo0d4

Of course the kids couldn’t care less. They’re used to fairly advanced computer animations, whereas I, a man of 46, still revel in the animators’ achievements. And yes, the children simply love the sweet little waste disposal robot, and had a really good laugh, too, in spite of the underlying, very dismal message. Here’s a little something, to give you an idea:

According to the story’s premise the early 22nd century, the megacorporation Buy n Large assumed every economic service on Earth, including the government. Overrun by un-recycled waste, the planet eventually became so polluted that it could no longer support life. In an attempt to keep humanity alive, BnL CEO Shelby Forthright sponsored a five-year exodus from Earth aboard a fleet of executive starliners that would support every need for the humans with a fully-automated robot crew. Hundreds of thousands of waste-disposal robots, known as “WALL-E” units, were left behind to clean up the planet by compacting the trash into cubes and stacking them into skyscraper-like towers for easy disposal. However, this plan was rejected when Forthright determined by 2110 that Earth was too toxic for return to ever be feasible. By 2815, seven hundred years after the intended five year cruise was begun, only one WALL-E unit remains operational.

Centuries of prolonged activation have given this particular WALL-E sentience and a sense of curiosity. He collects items that he finds interesting among the refuse, gathers spare parts for himself from inactive WALL-E units, and has befriended a cockroach named Hal. He frequently watches a videotape of the 1969 musical film Hello, Dolly!, especially the performances of “Put on Your Sunday Clothes” and “It Only Takes a Moment” (which becomes a key motif). This teaches him emotion, emphasizing the act of holding hands, which he interprets to be an act of showing love. Having ascribed to himself the need to hold hands with someone, and lacking anyone equivalent to himself, WALL-E is forlorn.

One day, WALL-E discovers a seedling plant, which he replants in an old shoe. Shortly afterward, a spaceship lands on Earth and deploys EVE, a feminine, probe-like robot sent from one of the starliners, the Axiom, with the directive of finding signs of plant life. Although WALL-E immediately falls in love with her, EVE initially perceives him as a threat and fires at him with her laser arm cannon on one or two occasions. When he has proven himself harmless, she expresses fascination and amusement in his personality, though she is still concerned primarily with carrying out her directive. When WALL-E shows her the plant he found, she stores it inside herself and deactivates; WALL-E thereafter goes to great lengths to protect her motionless body until she is retrieved by the ship that delivered her. Distraught, WALL-E pursues the ship, clinging to the outer hull as it departs into outer space, eventually arriving onboard the Axiom.

It is shown that as a result of living for centuries in micro-gravity aboard the Axiom, the humans have lost considerable bone mass, rendering them too obese to stand or move without robotic assistance. Even the ship’s commander, Captain McCrea, has delegated all his duties to the ship’s autopilot, aptly named “Auto”. As WALL-E follows EVE to the bridge of the ship, his unique behavior causes both humans and robots he meets on the way to act outside their normal routines, particularly M-O, a decontamination robot who learns to think for himself when he decides to follow WALL-E’s filthy trail instead of his next assignment so he can clean him, and two humans-a man named John and a woman named Mary-who, until bumping into WALL-E by accident, had been blind to the world around and each other, and become a couple.

EVE tries to present the plant to McCrea to place in the ship’s holo-detector-a device which will activate an automatic hyperjump to Earth once it scans the plant-only to find it is missing. She is deemed to be malfunctional and sent to the repair ward with WALL-E, whom EVE falsely accuses of losing the plant. Mistakenly thinking that the diagnostic machine is trying to hurt EVE, WALL-E takes and accidentally fires EVE’s detached arm cannon. This inadvertently frees the other malfunctioning robots in the repair ward who, along with EVE and WALL-E, become fugitives from security. Annoyed with WALL-E for causing the situation, EVE tries to send him back to Earth in an escape pod when McCrea’s first mate GO-4 arrives and deposits the missing plant in the pod, indicating him as the true thief and that he had stolen it without McCrea knowing. GO-4 sets the pod to self-destruct and launches it with WALL-E inside, but WALL-E manages to escape before it detonates, taking the plant with him. Relieved that he and the plant are safe, EVE happily reconciles with WALL-E and gives him a “kiss” (an electrostatic discharge between their faces), and they dance around the Axiom, flying together through space.

Still wanted by security, EVE sneaks onto the bridge of the Axiom and returns the plant to Captain McCrea, with WALL-E following behind. Curious to see images of Earth, the Captain projects EVE’s security camera footage, which allows EVE to witness the lengths to which WALL-E went to protect her while she was deactivated, whereupon she falls in love with him. Having been enthralled by earlier images depicting life as it was before the rise of Buy n Large, McCrea is shocked by the environmental devastation on Earth depicted in EVE’s recordings, and decides that humanity must return to Earth to make amends. Auto, however, insists that they cannot return to Earth, and is forced to reveal that BnL CEO Shelby Forthright ordered the autopilots never to do so after his cleanup plan failed. Unable to disobey his directive, Auto stages a mutiny and tries to dispose of the plant. In the ensuing struggle, Auto violently shocks WALL-E and temporarily deactivates EVE, drops them both into a garbage chute along with the plant, and locks McCrea in his quarters.

After managing to avoid ejection into space among the trash in the ship’s waste disposal facility thanks to the timely intervention of M-O, EVE dismisses her directive of bringing the plant to the ship’s holo-detector in favor of attempting to repair WALL-E. WALL-E, however, selflessly insists that EVE carry out her directive and tells her that if they return to Earth, he may be saved with the spare parts he had stockpiled there. WALL-E and EVE escape with the plant and set out to find the holo-detector, with M-O tagging along. They are aided by McCrea, who directs them to the holo-detector from the confines of his quarters, and the malfunctioning robots, who help them fight off waves of security Auto sends after them. McCrea tricks Auto into believing he has retrieved the plant and battles with him, managing to activate the holo-detector, a pedestal which rises from the floor of the deck. Auto then tilts the ship on its side, piling the immobile humans in a corner. While EVE protects the humans from harm, Auto attempts to retract the holo-detector again, but WALL-E jams it open with his own body and is ultimately crushed, to EVE’s horror. McCrea summons the strength to stand up unaided and manually overrides Auto, restoring order aboard the ship. The robots and humans work together to place the plant in the holo-detector, releasing the gravely damaged WALL-E and activating the hyperjump back to Earth.

Having arrived on Earth, EVE frantically repairs and reactivates WALL-E. However, the extent of the damage seems to have erased his memory and personality completely, making him return to his original directive. Heartbroken upon believing that the WALL-E she knew and loved is gone forever, EVE takes hold of his hand and gives him a “parting kiss”. The resulting spark reboots WALL-E’s memory and personality; therefore he instantly recognizes her and is ecstatic to find that EVE’s hand is finally grasping his. As the two robots embrace for a tender kiss, humanity and robots begin working together to restore Earth’s biosphere with a renewed sense of purpose, directed by the enthusiastic Captain McCrea.

— Wikipedia

Stargazing WALL-E on top of a dunghill (Disney/Pixar)

Not the brightest of perceivable futures, eh? Mind you: Just that is lost to the cheering five-year-olds, whose attention is focused on WALL-E and friends’ crazy doings. Which is as it should be. The rest of us are left to ponder the prospects of leaving the planet in a hundred years or so – and to admire this excellent piece of computer graphic craftsmanship.

Happy daughter